Letter: Cell phones shouldn’t electronically fornicate in public

Published 3:25 pm Saturday, March 7, 2026

“Confound a telephone, anyway. It is the very demon for conveying similarities of sound that are miracles of divergence from similarity of sense.” — Mark Twain

My friend told me today he recently put his personal cell phone on top of his business cell phone, and when he picked one up there was a message asking for confirmation on a bank account transfer.

We exchanged possible punchlines for the situation, and in the end, he told me the phones were sleeping on separate night stands. Pending any reproductive outcome, my friend has an artificial intelligence lawyer on retainer denying any possibility in a paternity suit.

Another friend who overheard this possible immaculate electronic conception told us about an incident involving Alexa, who was getting adept at using her cell phone.

As a person who has never texted, Facebooked, Instagrammed or TikToked, I find it offensive that two cell phones can electronically fornicate in public without any legal repercussions. And as far as Alexa making prank phone calls without permission? I recommend Alexa gets no Internet access for at least two weeks.

I grew up using a telephone that was on a party line, where phone access was shared. I found it easier to ride over to my friends’ houses than try to call them up. Any such call involved telling two old ladies to speed up their sharing recipes for savory turnip soup.

All I can say is during the last seven decades … human communication has changed for better or worse?

MATT JANES

Jeffers Gardens