Claire Lovell

? One Saturday in March, I went to a Crab Plus dinner at the Fire Station, my second attendance at this event. I think the party began about 5:30 p.m. with finger foods. We arrived a little after 6 p.m. and enjoyed crab, shrimp, scallops, garlic bread, steak, salmon and chowder. What a feast! The older firefighters had their pictures taken for the record books. Dick Walter and his wife were there; Ron and Janet Johnson; Glen and Katy Bard; Ab. Burke and his wife; Mary Ann Wood and Kenny Carpenter; Ansel Morehouse, my escort; Jack McCollum; Penny Pittard and friend; Harold Johnson and Dorothy, mentioning only a few.

They had a fire call just about quitting time. It was a false alarm so they were gone only about 10 minutes. What a waste and what an expenditure of gas.

Whatever happened to Gary Larson? I thought he was just a little burned out and wanted to take a sabbatical but he never came back, darn. He certainly contributed to the idea that laughter is the best medicine.

In a book, I found an old cartoon of his Id saved about Lewis and Clark. One of them, clad in a coonskin cap and fringed leather outfit, was striding ahead with his walking stick in the wilderness, singing val de ri, val de ra, val de ri, val de ra ha ha ha ha ha, etc. While the other one slogged along behind, saying Gosh, how I hate him!

It was typical Larson and I enjoyed it all over again.

A couple of Bewick wrens were building a nest in a birdhouse outside my kitchen window. I did have a moments alarm when I saw a single bee go in the entry opening afterward and have seen neither birds nor bees since that day. Should have put a sign out denying equal opportunity occupation. The wrens did reappear after about four days but did not go into the house.

On Monday, my cat, Coco, who likes to drink with his fists, dropped a paw into my watering pitcher and did it at least three times before I could get at him. My concern was that I had added quite a bit of Miracle-Gro not exactly A vitamin tonic for animals. The veterinary said it might cause the usual GI symptoms V and D but time passed and nothing happened. Still, I dont recommend it as a regular cat Tipple.

I take it that when the ink is finally dry on newsprint, you end up with permanent press.

Would you believe I put a lipstick through the warm wash cycle and it came through unscathed? If it had been my usual brand, it would have smeared all my clothes and the inside of the machine, but this was Tabu stuff one you cant buy here anymore. I sent away for two tubes and had to pay twice as much as they were worth. In this instance, it paid off. Im grateful indeed.

John Hagee was telling us about sad western recordings last week. He said if you played one backwards, youd get your job back, your wife would return, your mother-in-law would move out, your truck would run again and your dog would come home. Thats close. I didnt put it down right away.

For the third time within a week, there was no rainbow when there should have been one having bright sunlight and rainfall at the same time. I made several phone calls to no avail and finally tried the weather station in Portland. The guy there was no help, intimating that you had to be in the right place and have the exact amounts of sun and rain to see a rainbow. He even tried to blame it on the leprechauns of St. Patricks Day. But its a little alarming when nature doesnt behave as the good book has promised.

A preacher was taking a walk one day and came upon a group of young boys, all circled around a small mutt. He asked them what was going on and one of the boys told him theyd decided whoever told the biggest lie could have the dog.

Lying isnt right, said the preacher. Why, when I was your age, I didnt tell a single lie and I havent done so to this day, either.

Lets give him the dog, said their leader.

Did you remember to wear your sweater or cardigan for Mr. Rogers on the first day of Spring? It would also have been his 80th birthday. Wont you by my neighbor?

You know its going to be a bad day when your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.