Local bon vivant and half-man about town JAKE THE ALLIGATOR MAN, pictured, a resident of MARSHS FREE MUSEUM, will celebrate his sixth (but whos counting) 75TH BIRTHDAY today and tomorrow in Long Beach, Wash.

An Under the Sea-themed bachelor party will commence at 6 tonight at the Long Beach Elks Lodge, which promises to be an evening of burlesque and live music. There will be food, raffle prizes, a pirate ship photo booth, T-shirts and other Jake swag. The cover charge of $10 doesnt cover vittles or fire water.

The celebration continues Saturday at Veterans Field in Long Beach with a car show, the Bride of Jake Pinup Contest, dunk tank, Beards Hollow Pirates, bounce house, side show, belly dancing and more.

Jake, a mummified half-man half-gator, began his colorful career touring as a circus gaff (an attraction used by carnies to lure people to the sideshow) until he retired when the Marsh family purchased him in 1967.

Even in retirement, Jakes life has not been without notoriety. On Nov. 9, 1993, he made headlines on the front page of the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS with Half-human, half-alligator discovered in Florida swamp! (http://tinyurl.com/jakeworld).

The story claimed that Jake, the so-called missing link, was a grotesque, hissing creature 5-feet 8-inches long, weighing 180 pounds. He was basking in a marsh, near Naples, Fla., when some hunters found him. After a state game official persuaded them not to shoot, stuff and mount Jake over their bar, the hunters captured him, instead.

Before being shipped to an undisclosed marine laboratory in the Florida Keys, a DR. SIMON SHUTE, paleontologist, stated that he examined Jake, and found him to have a human-sized brain. When I first saw it, I half expected it to talk to me, he reported.

Jake still has no comment.

Elleda Wilson