If all goes according to plan, when you read this I will be on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera, a hifalutin’ name for Acapulco, Zihuatanejo/Ixtapa and Manzanillo. Despite many, many trips to Mexico, this is one region I have never seen.

That fact, and the sudden awareness that I am finally old enough to go on a cruise, made me decide to give this a try. I have been on river cruises: Yangtze and Mississippi, but never on the Big Open Water version in a “Float and Bloat” hotel with a million other people. Interesting factoid: the ship, Carnival Spirit, holds 2,267 people – that’s about 600 more than live in Cannon Beach! Scary!

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Home again, home again, jiggedy jig! I waited to tell you about this adventure until I was actually home again and had a minute to think about it. Came home last night, so here’s what I think: I would LOVE to go on another cruise, but never again on Carnival. I learned a lot about different cruise lines because there were two travel agents at our table one evening. We got the straight dish from them.

Even though it wasn’t spring break and there weren’t a bunch of teenagers running around naked, it is still “The Fun Ship!” I keep waiting for Julie to show up with her clipboard. The main event of one day was the Hairy Chest Competition. Need I say more?

Five of us – all Women of a Certain Age – went together. Our stated purpose was to play cards until we couldn’t hold them any longer. We made it! About a bezillion rubbers of bridge, several games of Hand ‘n’ Foot, where lots of quarters changed hands, and solitaire when no one else was around.

The luck moved around the table fairly evenly and when we felt REALLY lucky we hit the casino and that straightened us out in a hurry.

The ports were a mixed bag: Acapulco and Manzanillo now go in the same category as Puerto Vallarta – been there, done that, don’t need to do it again. Zihuatanejo was the best – small, easy to get around, friendly without being pushy and the ice-cold Corona on a 94-degree day made it all muy bueno.

One of the best parts of the cruise was the fact that we had four full days at sea. We went straight from San Diego to Acapulco (two days) and then back north to the other two ports and then two more days to SD. There is something hypnotic about being at sea, that endless blue, the slight motion of the ship and the realization that there is no place to be but right where you are.

About the food, which everyone feels duty bound to go on about: the best meal we had on the trip was at Ruth’s Chris Steak House in San Diego. YUM!

I am now almost unpacked and ready to do it again, except while I was gone that small boodle I count on for my old age has eroded considerably!

We left early in the morning on Election Day, so missed all the festivities. Congratulations to Barack Obama and Mike Morgan and Melissa Cadwallader and Wendy Higgins! We followed every minute on CNN, thank you, Ted Turner.

Valerie Ryan owns Cannon Beach Book Company