It’s a first. Never before have I been told to kiss my backside, at least not in my capacity as a restaurant reviewer. A Washington reader e-mailed that directive, along with the suggestion to leave my “imperial attitude” on this side of the Columbia River. Seems this person resented my Imperial Schooner restaurant review (Coast Weekend, July 15).

“This great little restaurant provides excellent, fair-priced food. It also has some of the best service I have ever had on the (Long Beach, Wash.) Peninsula,” the reader stated. “Kiss your ass as you seem to want it kissed. If your people got bad service, maybe it was due to their imperial attitude!”

The reader also resented “knocking” a new business. “You should be ashamed of yourselves. You guys need to go back to your drawing boards and see what a community newspaper is all about.”

Response: A restaurant critic never wants to be perceived as snooty. The purpose of my reviews is not to knock a new business; rather, I hope to inform readers about established and recently opened restaurants. But I’m not a booster or a one-man chamber of commerce.

I write about what I experience while dining in modest as well as high-end eateries, hopefully without being biased toward either. If a reader patronizes a restaurant I’ve written about and enjoys a better experience (or suffers through a worse experience), I appreciate hearing about it.

Restaurant owners sound off”Thank you very much for featuring the Imperial Schooner in the Mouth of the Columbia,” e-mailed owners Clint and Laurie Carter. “We take all constructive criticisms as just that, and are working on some changes. You’ll have to return to find out more. Perhaps then you can get a more complete answer as to our somewhat puzzling name.”

Response: Restaurant owners certainly need not heed my advice, unless they believe it’s in the best interest of their business to do so. Again, my intent is to inform readers. It’s gratifying to know restaurant owners are reading my reviews, however. But I have no desire to have my backside kissed. Honest.

“After many Seinfeld-esque discussions about the etiquette of thanking a restaurant reviewer regarding a positive review, indeed whether such a thing had ever been done before, or even should be done, Jeff and I remained undecided about how to let you know that we appreciated your naming our restaurant, Pauly’s Bistro, Restaurant of the Year (Coast Weekend, Jan. 8),” e-mailed Jeff and Geri Marcus.

Response: Should restaurant owners respond to praise or criticism from reviewers? It’s their choice. Either way, a reply shouldn’t affect subsequent reviews. Restaurant critics (at least this one) appreciate feedback, no matter the source.

“I recently got back from New York City where I saw my first grandson and kids and took a tour of the Carnegie Deli and ate my way through the lower side of Manhattan for four days,” e-mailed John Sowa, co-owner and chef at Seaside’s Lil’ Bayou. For food I’m hard pressed to figure who could offer more both in culinary choices and price ranges. It was just great!”

Response: No doubt, New York (and especially Manhattan) is a gastronomic mecca. I’ve been to the Carnegie Deli, made famous in Woody Allen films, numerous times. Inspired, perhaps, by his East Coast eating odyssey, Sowa is offering pastrami and chopped liver sandwiches, sausage-and-pepper and meatball heroes and fried-oyster po’boys, among other selections, on his new lunch menu.

Showing favoritism”Many of us think you are very unfair and cater to only a few restaurants,” a letter writer noted, then mentioned Astoria’s Home Spirit Bakery Cafe as an example. “Many of us locals disagree with you on Home Spirit being four stars; you are way off. How can you even judge a restaurant when you only eat in a select few?” The writer next stated that my four-star rating might have something to do with the fact that I’ve become friends with Home Spirit co-owner and chef Michael Henderson.

Response: It’s no secret that I enjoy eating at certain restaurants more than others. For some reason(s), I’ve received more flack for speaking favorably about Home Spirit than any other restaurant I’ve reviewed. Some of the criticism probably is because Home Spirit is viewed as a high-end eatery, a type of restaurant some readers avoid. As always, my ratings are based on the quality of food and service, atmosphere, to some extent, prices and how well a restaurant accomplishes what it sets out to do.

True, I’ve become friends with some restaurant owners, including Home Spirit’s Michael Henderson. I sometimes visit Henderson in the evening when he’s shaping his loaves, and we’ve gone to dinner together. Some readers will find this hard to swallow, but my friendship with Henderson has not affected what I write about Home Spirit. In fact, most of what I’ve said about Home Spirit was written before Henderson and I became friends.

Dousing a fiery palate”In your review of the Voodoo Room pizza (Coast Weekend, April 8) that was topped with habanero chilies, you discovered that drinking water did nothing to tame the burning in your mouth,” e-mailed a reader. “In fact, it only makes it worse. Our home is in Long Beach, but we live in Phoenix, Ariz., in the winter. Down here, where chilies reign supreme, everyone knows that the only way to cool your mouth after eating hot chilies is to drink milk.”

Response: During my first trip to Tijuana, Mexico, some three decades ago, some of my so-called friends tempted me to try the hot sauce at a roadside taco stand. Of course, I scorched my palate, then immediately downed a glass of water which only exacerbated the burning in my mouth. Guess I forgot about that painful lesson. Thanks for the reminder.

Additional comments”The new Windsor House of Tea is awesome,” e-mailed Lynne “Red” Pelletier, executive chef at the Seaview (Wash.) Shoalwater Restaurant. What a surprise to see such a beautifully redone place like it is. The food was superb and their selection of teas is extraordinary. I hope you and others will spread the word.”

Response: Like the new wine bar at The Cannery Cafe, the Windsor House of Tea, 1004-C Marine Drive, Astoria; (503) 338-6900 should whet Astoria’s collective appetite for one of the world’s favored beverages.

Ship’s owner will be missed”When I read the Coast Weekend (July 15) and saw the review of a fish and chips restaurant, I couldn’t help but be struck by the irony of the situation,” begins a letter to the editor published July 21. “You see, for the last decade, I have worked for Fenton Stokeld at the Ship Inn serving the best fish and chips. It was in tonight’s paper (The Daily Astorian, July 15) that my beloved boss’s obituary was printed.”

The writer praises Stokeld as a loving family man and a caring restaurateur, then adds: “I know for certain he has set the bar pretty high for those hoping to run a fish and chips shop on the Oregon Coast.”

Response: Most everybody who lives in the Columbia-Pacific region has dined at the Ship Inn and enjoyed what are arguably the finest fish and chips served anywhere.

Contact the Mouth at The Daily Astorian, P.O. Box 210, Astoria, OR 97103 or phone (503) 325-3211 or e-mail mouth@dailyastorian.com