This is heresy, of course, especially in the Northwest. But I must confess: I don’t drink coffee.

Oh, I thoroughly enjoy the aroma of fresh-brewed beans (who doesn’t?), and I’m not bothered when someone else indulges. But coffee as a beverage, caffeine and all, doesn’t ring my bell. And I suspect there are more than a few like me residing in this java la-la land that’s said to boast a higher per-capita number of espresso outlets than anywhere else in the world.

So what do I drink in the morning, after meals and when I’m patronizing one of the local joe joints? Well, sometimes tea, particularly chai; but more often than ever these days, I down a cup of hot chocolate. Virtually every establishment that hawks coffee sells it.

Here’s my report after sipping 16-ounce cups of “H.C.” (most served with a dollop of whipped cream) at a handful of local purveyors.

The ratings are as follows:

One mug: May as well make your own

Two mugs: Worth sampling if you’re in the neighborhood

Three mugs: A truly fine cup of H.C.

Four mugs: One sip and you may forego coffee forever

Astoria Coffee Company, 304 37th St., Astoria; (503) 325-7768; Rating: Three and a half mugsThe unmistakable fragrance of fresh-roasted coffee beans wafting from this east-end storefront is irresistible. But there’s more here besides numerous varietal and blended coffees. In addition to umpteen types of loose teas (which they blend themselves), owners Rick Murray and Peg Davis sell coffee presses, tea pots and kettles, bagged spices, candies, chilies, wild rice and peppercorns, plus jars of jams and marmalade, even bottles of a potent hot sauce. And their hot chocolate ($1.75) – a simple synthesis of steamed milk and Hershey’s syrup sprinkled with a house mix of Italian cocoa and sugar instead of the usual canned whipped cream – is superb.

Festivals Coffee Net, 151 Howerton Way S.E., Ilwaco, Wash.; (360) 642-2288; Rating: Two and a half mugsPopular new restaurants, shops, galleries and a coffee house at the Port of Ilwaco, Wash., have proven the adage: If you build it they will come. One of the first of the new-breed businesses that located here, Festivals has been attracting patrons with a weekend open mike and live music, in addition to Ilwaco’s best espresso. The commodious interior is furbished with bright orange-and-red carpeting and nine tables strewn with puzzles, board games and reading material. A wall of windows affords views of Ilwaco’s still-salty harbor and, in the distance, mountain vistas. There’s a piano and a performance stage in one corner; a back area is outfitted with a couch, cushy chairs, a full bookcase and internet access (10 cents a minute, $5 an hour).

My hot chocolate ($2) was a satisfying blend of steamed milk, powdered chocolate mix and Hershey’s syrup, luscious yet not overpowering or too rich.

Morning Star Cafe, 280 S. Roosevelt Drive, Seaside; (503) 717-8188; Rating: Three mugsEvery morning, java junkies gravitate to this brightly painted, welcoming coffeehouse fronting U.S. Highway 101 for jolts of espresso, then return for lunch (soups, sandwiches, veggie wraps, quiche) and occasional live music during afternoons and evenings. No wonder, because the Morning Star, outfitted with chairs, couches, tables topped with distinctive salt ‘n’ pepper shakers and a seriously laid-back vibe is this beach town’s top hangout. Hot chocolate ($2) is a mellow libation concocted with powdered chocolate, topped with whipped cream that actually tastes like the real deal and served either in a stout porcelain mug or, for those in a hurry, a paper cup.

The Coffee Place, 108 10th St., Astoria; (503) 325-9744; Rating: Two mugsEspresso parlors match well with pretty much any business, so even a quilt shop seems a natural partner. Astoria’s newest java haunt, the Coffee Place showcases wall-hanging quilts and sundry quilting supplies from Northwest Stitchin’s, which now occupies the space that formerly housed the Astoria Visual Arts gallery. Up front, soup du jour, bagels, pastries and the usual array of coffee drinks and teas are sold. Hot chocolate ($1.50) is the kind my mom used to make, tasting more of chocolate than milk and not very steamy. The initial sip was akin to biting into a chocolate candy bar, pleasant enough, but packing a overly sweet aftertaste.

Sambuck’s Coffeehouse, 1154 Commercial St., Astoria; (503) 338-5459; Rating: Three mugsThe little coffeehouse that could (the business took on retail giant Starbuck’s rather than change its name), Sambuck’s offers a few baked goods, daily soups, bulk coffee, interior stools and an outside table for those who want to linger, plus free downtown Astoria delivery. Hot chocolate ($2) here is a foamy brew, and the ratio of steamed milk to chocolate is ideal – the chocolate aftertaste is sweet enough to linger without being cloying.

The Sunny Side Cafe of the Cannery Cafe; No. 1 Sixth St., Astoria; (503) 325-8642; Rating: Three mugsAstoria’s sunniest and cheeriest morning nook is tucked into the south side of this century-old cannery building, a perfect locale for sipping, people watching, introspection and perusing the news. More than one person has told me the Sunny Side’s hot chocolate is splendid. Indeed, this piping-hot quencher ($2) is a fine fusion of steamed milk, chocolate syrup (a smidgen more than I prefer) and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Get it in a paper cup to-go, or better yet, served in a clear glass mug that showcases the beverage’s rich chocolate color and foamy head.

Contact the Mouth at The Daily Astorian, P.O. Box 210, Astoria, OR 97103 or phone (503) 325-3211 or e-mail mouth@dailyastorian.com